How to Be Confident Around the Opposite Sex

be confident opposite sex

How to Be Confident Around the Opposite Sex


It’s a common problem for many people; the tendency to freeze up and lose the power of reasonable speech when an attractive member of the opposite sex walks into the room. Some people find that the problem eases when they come out of adolescence but for others, the lack of confidence lingers well into adulthood.


If you find yourself clamming up when someone attractive speaks to you, or even completely freezing, then the good news is that you can get over it. The state of mind which causes a lack of confidence around the opposite sex is a problem stemming from a lack of self esteem. The feeling that nothing you have to say is worth listening to can be a terrible handicap for many people and once you accept that you are suffering in this way believe it or not, you are already half way to beating the problem.


In order to help yourself to gain confidence around the opposite sex, you should begin to make some small changes to your attitude and habits. Start with the basics and the rest will follow.


Begin with your personal appearance and your innermost thoughts

This is not to say that you have to be perfect or beautiful to have confidence with the opposite sex; nor do you need the latest designer clothing or footwear. What you do need is to be well groomed and comfortable and confident that you are worth knowing.


I knew a (now very famous) actor who brimmed with such effervescence and self confidence that girls fell at his feet; he had no designer gear…he also had some typical skin problems which many adolescents suffer from, but girls didn’t notice that. What they noticed was that he was super-confident; he had no doubts in his mind that he was attractive and so as if by magic he was! Beauty really does begin on the inside…it doesn’t matter if you’re not the tallest, the thinnest, the strongest or the one with the best clothing…what matters is that you believe that you are beautiful or handsome and that you carry out your daily life safe in this knowledge.


Being attractive and confident is a state of mind which you can train yourself into employing. Begin with the basics of always being clean, smelling nice and wearing clothing that you feel comfortable in and then you can start on the next phase!


Stop putting yourself down

Many people who lack confidence fall into the habit of constantly putting themselves down. It’s an inner monologue which never seems to stop and once you’re in the habit of it, it’s almost like a disease. A little voice in your head saying things like “I always say the wrong thing.” and “She’ll never bother with someone like me.” or “I have such a weird smile…he won’t think I’m pretty.”


Those statements are damaging and they allow you to hold yourself and present yourself in an apologetic way. Watch out for the little put-downs which you indulge in on a daily basis and replace them with positive comments instead. So “I’m not good looking enough to talk to her.” becomes “I know I’m handsome…she looks friendly, so I’ll say hi.”


Practice this constantly and before you know it, the power of positive thinking will have begun to affect your entire life. You’ll feel the benefits almost immediately as people become more open to you, show more interest in you and even approach you.


Remember that everyone has insecure moments

Even the most beautiful, the most accomplished and talented people have moments of self-doubt. Nobody is infallible and everyone has those times in their life when they lack confidence. Don’t allow your low times put you off your new found confident self. Accept the low times for what they are and keep on bigging yourself up! A lack of confidence is nothing more than a bad habit…like nail biting or smoking it can be beaten and you can feel the amazing affects of a healthier state of mind.

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