How to Keep the Love Alive


So you’ve found the perfect partner and  think you’re in it for the long haul. Maybe you’re moving in together? Or perhaps you’ve lived together for years? You think the hard part is over, all that worrying about first dates and what not to say and do in the early stages of a relationship, but it’s later that the real work begins.

So how do you hang on to your lover; how do you cope with seeing that person every day, for better or worse? Here are five things you can try to give your relationship the staying power it deserves:

Do not nag! Nobody likes a nag. And would you have dreamt of nagging your lover at the beginning of the relationship? Of course you wouldn’t, so don’t do it now. Girls, does it really matter that your man leaves the toilet seat up, is it really so hard to put it down yourself? Is it worth arguing over? I bet you’ve never heard him moan about you leaving it down! And boys, if your lady wants to stay in her robe all day on Sunday and not put on her make-up, good for her, encourage it; she probably deserves the break after working hard all week, or running around after the kids (or you!): cut her some slack.

Treat each other: Remember when you were first starting out in your relationship? I bet you bought each other little gifts, exchanged tokens of love? Well that shouldn’t stop just because you’ve accepted each other as long-term partners. And I’m not talking expensive jewellery here, Jimmy Choos or Rolex. I’m talking about the little things: buying her favourite bar of chocolate when you go for the pint of milk; treating him to that Top Gear mag when you go the newsagents for OK and Hello. Or what about that t-shirt you know he’ll love, even though you’re out looking for an outfit for yourself for that upcoming hen-do? Flowers, sweets, aftershave, gimmicks, golf balls; anything that will make your partner happy and let them know that you are thinking of them, even while apart; it really does keep the flame alight. Go on, what are you waiting for?

Make each other laugh: Now we aren’t all blessed with a great sense of humour, but that doesn’t mean that life has to be all serious either. You can see your partner is stressed after a hard day at work? Yes, it sometimes helps to sit down together and talk through the day’s hardships, but sometimes we just need a little cheering up. Tell a joke, remind your lover of a shared funny experience, stick on a comedy, find a funny side to the stressful situation (though you should never ever undermine your partner’s feelings, or be seen to be unsympathetic – if you can’t pull this off, don’t try it): a small gesture to lighten the mood is sometimes all it takes. A laugh and a smile truly is the best therapy.

Go on a date: Why oh why do we stop dating when things get serious? Yes, money might be tight; yes it’s easier to get in a takeaway and it’s too cold out there to dress up anyway, but going out is fun, it’s exciting. Go to the movies, watch a romcom and share a bucket of popcorn; go out for dinner – cooking and washing up every night is a drag; have a few drinks down the local like you used to, perhaps re-visit the places you used to hang out when you were getting to know each other. Perhaps the theatre, a gallery, or drag-car racing is more your thing. The important thing is to share experiences, make memories. Later in life, you won’t be saying to each other ‘remember that night we stayed in, ate spag bol and watched Corrie?’ No, you’ll remember that occasion you went to see ‘Safe Haven’ at the cinema, got hotdog mustard all over your new shirt, and saw a comet in the sky on your way home. Go, get dating!

Make time for each other: Remember when you first met your lover, how everything and everyone else was put on the backburner because your new lover was the most important thing in your world? Well, down the line, your lover should still feel that way. So make time for each other. Yes, there might be new friends or work colleagues in your life, even kids; yes, your career might have skyrocketed and you’re working all the hours to maintain your position, but your partner has stuck with you this far and they need to feel that they still count. So, every now and then, put everything else aside and focus on nothing but each other, in every department. See if you can squeeze in a romantic getaway, or that much-needed evening out. Wear that special lingerie that he bought you and hardly ever sees. Or simply get in a takeaway and a movie, light some candles, share a bath, massage each other’s feet; just for a while, remind your lover that they are the centre of your world. Or at least let them believe that they are!!

A current list of romantic films for you to stock up on for those cozy nights in can be found here Romantic Films if you are in the UK,

and here Romantic Films if you are in the USA. Snuggle up and enjoy 🙂


keep love alive



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