Save Your Marriage

Save Your Marriage

 How to save your marriage is a complicated issue which is faced by many couples every day. The problem of a marriage in difficulty is that when things have reached the point where the marriage seems to be “failing” is often the point where both halves of the partnership feel they have had enough of struggling. The symptoms of a truly failing marriage are unmistakable. To know the difference between a “rocky patch” and a marriage which is already in free-fall you need to ask yourself certain honest questions.

 

  • Is communication at an all time low? Have you both ceased to talk to one another completely?
  • Is one half of the couple living somewhere other than the marital home?
  • Is there a third party involved? In other words, are you or your spouse having an affair?
  • Has there been any violence?

 

If you can answer yes to any one of the above questions then it is probably that your marriage really is in difficulties. But the good news is that things can very often be salvaged. Caring enough to want to save your marriage is a starting point from which real success may be achieved. The first thing to establish is whether or not your partner wants to save the marriage as much as you do.

 

What is marriage?

Marriage in a nutshell is a commitment to another person to offer them unconditional love for the rest of your lives. True marriage is about sharing the good times and the bad with equal responsibility; helping one another to reach personal goals and working as a couple to reach shared goals. Often, the difficulties which arise in a marriage are due to a lack of agreement on core issues. Some of the most common reasons for a failed marriage are as follows:

 

  • An affair
  • One half of the couple wants to have children but the other does not.
  • Money troubles
  • Mental illness
  • Addiction

 

Quite often there is an imbalance in a failing relationship; one half of the couple may have all but given up and may see no point in continuing. If you have spent a lot of time embroiled in arguments then this is very wearing and your spouse may feel that a life alone would be a relief. In cases like this, it is important to re-establish communication and that is best done with the help of a professional councillor.

 

Having another person present to hear your grievances can be a relief and couples counselling can offer a way through to one another without the arguments and patterns of behaviour which have contributed to the current situation.

 

Try to offer this as a solution to your spouse; if they are receptive to the idea then you are halfway to success already. Saving a marriage is all about being willing to try.

 

What happens if my spouse says they don’t want to try?

This can be a heartbreaking situation to find yourself in. You feel powerless and devastated as you cannot seem to get through to your spouse. In this situation it is often very helpful to take a step away from the situation. Go to stay with friends and benefit from the peace of mind which comes of being with supportive friends or relatives; if you can, think about taking a short holiday alone too. This can provide a chance for you to re-centre yourself and to remember who you are and what you really want.

 

Sometimes, partners who are convinced they want to give up on their marriage feel differently when their husband or wife takes the initiative and goes away; it paints a realistic picture of what life without their loved one might be like…and that can be enough to galvanise them into action and try to work things through.

 

A marriage which was once good can be good again. It takes time, effort and commitment but it is possible to save a marriage on the rocks.

For advice from professional writer Amy Waterman who specialises in attraction and dating, but most specifically marriage counselling and relationship guidance. Visit Save My Marriage where Amy will share THREE things with you that will immediately disarm the threat of divorce and work on rebuilding and saving your marriage!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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