Should I Get Married?..The Pros and Cons

should i get married

 

Apparently they go together like a horse and carriage…but just how dependent upon one another are love and marriage? And if you do decide to get hitched, what are the pros and what are the cons? Can you love someone, spend your life with them and not exchange vows and rings? What happens if you don’t? These questions…and many more often crop up when couples are considering getting married and the answers are rarely clear cut.   Marriage is a life changing event; it’s not something to be taken lightly and it requires a lot of thought before taking the plunge. If you’re unsure about your feelings regarding getting married, then you probably need to weigh up the pros and cons!

Pros

  • Stability: Marriage provides some stability; the knowledge that you are now committed and dedicated to your partner is comforting and can give a general feeling of confidence and well being.
  • A good career move: Some employers prefer married employees as marriage shows that they are responsible and mature, often appearing to be more settled than single people.
  • Tax breaks: It’s not a very romantic consideration but marriage will allow you to take advantage of a number of financial incentives not open to unmarried couples.
  • Protection: Property is split two ways in general; though it should be remembered that some circumstances make this more of a grey area.
  • You get to share your love for one another with a great big party!

Cons

  • 41% of marriages end in divorce which is a traumatic experience for many people.
  • Married couples must accept one another’s families; this can be trickier than it sounds if you don’t get on with your in-laws! Think about it…every Christmas from now on must be shared with them!
  • No more lovers…ever! The thought of never again falling in love can be alarming for some people.
  • The need for compromise…on everything from which side of the bed you sleep on to what colour to paint the front door!

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly; most people realise this but some are drawn into committing to their partner without having really thought out the long term issues. Some questions to ask yourself before getting married include the following!

  • Do we both want a family? If not, it could be that you need to rethink your long term plans.
  • Do we both share similar ambitions? You may dream of living in America one day…your partner may not. Make sure you share the same future ambitions in terms of work and leisure.
  • Are your moral codes similar? What if you believe in private schools and your loved-one doesn’t? That’s going to bring up some sticky situations once you have a family!

Before even thinking about marriage you need to talk about the Big Stuff with your partner…and make sure you’re on the same page. Big issues include things like money, work plans, starting a family and even things which seem a long way off like retirement. It’s no use harbouring a dream of retiring in Hawaii if your partner fancies a bungalow in Skegness!   The trick to working out if marriage is for you is to talk about it…at length. Discuss your expectations and those of your partner. Pre-planning like this is the only way to safeguard your marriage for the long term…and that’s what marriage is all about!

 

 

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